There goes his life
by nicolleg06
Summary: She was his daughter and she was his wife. Know matter what he did, or how he acted, he loved them more then anything in his life. If that was true…why was it getting so hard for them to see that? And why was he getting so close to losing them?
1. Chapter 1

**She was his daughter and she was his wife. Know matter what he did, or how he acted, he loved them more then anything in his life. If that was true…why was it getting so hard for them to see that? And why was he getting so close to losing them?**

_Beauty queen of only eighteen  
She had some trouble with herself  
He was always there to help her  
She always belonged to someone else_

_I drove for miles and miles  
And wound up at your door  
I've had you so many times but somehow  
I want more_

"Thanks for your help Anna, that will be all for today." I said tiredly as I walked into the kitchen and noticing our made still working hard.

"Are you sure Mrs. Scott? There is still some laundry that needs to be done, I can finish it." She said sweetly.

"No it's fine, you should go home your kids are probably waiting." I said smiling. No matter what mood I was in, I could never take it out on Anna. She was the sweetest most hard –working women I knew, and was lucky to have her.

"Okay, thank you Mrs. Scott. I will see you tomorrow." She said waving and heading for the door. I sighed when I heard the door close and leaned against the counter. Ever since I could remember, I had wanted to be the kind of mom that did all the work around the house. From cooking, to cleaning, and laundry…that was one of the reasons I hated having people that did it all for me. I smiled as I flipped open my phone and realized what time it was; 2:30. It was my favorite time of the day, picking up Ellie.

"Mommy!"

"Hey baby!" I said opening my arms happily as my four year old daughter came running towards.

"Hi mommy!" She said smiling brightly.

"Hi El, how was school today?" I asked wanting to know everything. Picking up my daughter and hearing about how great her day was always the highlight of my day.

"It was great mommy! Guess what, next week we're having an open house. Ms. Carter said all the parents can come and see your work. You think daddy can come!?" Ellie asked me excitedly. I felt an instant pang of guilt at the mention of Nathan. God knows Nathan and I had been through a lot of hard times through out our relationship, but know matter what I always knew the love was their…this time though, thing's were different. The problems we were having was all of because the new Nathan. Not the compassionate, caring, loving, and perfect father. The problem was with the new selfish, inconsiderate Nathan.

"Um, yeah baby, we'll see." I said as we finally reached my Lexus and I pulled open the door.

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_

_Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful  
I know I tend to get insecure  
It doesn't matter anymore_

"Mommy, is daddy going to be home tonight? I haven't seen him since yesterday, he wasn't here this morning." Once again a heart wrenching question that I couldn't question.

"I don't know sweetie. I guess we'll see when we get home." Sadly, that was the best I could do.

Two hours later we finally arrived home after a round of toy shopping and lunch stop. When I pulled into the gated driveway, I let out an unpleasant sigh as I saw the bright red Ferrari sitting there. Nathan was home.

"Daddy, are you home!?" Ellie instantly yelled the second we walked into the house. There was no response, but the sound of the big screen television answered her question.

"Hi daddy!" She said running up to him and sitting beside him on the black leather couch.

"Hey El, how's my girl?" He asked quickly pulling his focus from the t.v. and focusing his attention on his daughter. It really pained me how hot and cold Nathan was, even to his daughter. Their was know doubt in my mind Nathan loved our daughter more then anything else, a stranger could see that, but his attitude sometime's made me even want to question it. It was like one day his was daddy of the year. Playing and listening to anything and everything his little girl said. On those days it was like their both on top of the world, and it made me happy too. Then there were the days he wouldn't even come home and didn't seem to care that his daughter yearned for his attention. I hated that Nathan and sometimes even the caring Nathan…because I knew it didn't last.

"Good daddy! School was fun today!"

"Well that's good." He answered.

"Hey daddy, how come you didn't come home last night?" The question I had obviously been wondering about was finally asked but not by me, by my daughter. Ellie was an extremely smart child, there was know doubt about it, and in some circumstances I hated it. I didn't want my daughter worrying about her parent's problems…and the last thing I ever wanted me child wondering is, 'why didn't daddy come home last night?'

"Um, well you know how we had the big game last night? Coach asked me to stay after to go over some plays…and um I just feel asleep at the arena." _Lie_.

"Oh, you slept in the stadium daddy! That's scary!" Ellie said adorably, and of course believing her father.

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
It's compromise that moves us along  
My heart is full and my door's always open  
You can come anytime you want_

_I don't mind spending everyday  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved_

"Yeah it was scary, it was all dark and lonely." Nathan answered. For the first time since we had gotten home, his eyes looked up at me after the word lonely came out of his mouth. Lonely, that had been the definition of my life the past few months.

"But I will be here tonight okay? To tuck you in and everything." At the mention of that Ellie once again light up. Nathan was god in her eyes…he was her biggest hero, and he took advantage of that.

"So El, Nathan, what would you guys like for dinner?" I said looking away for my daughter and husband and focusing my attention on the kitchen.

"How about we go out for dinner?" Nathan said.

"Oh I don't know…we were just out for lunch."

"Can we momma please! I want to go to Dana Tana's!?" We both laughed at my daughter's choice of high dining. Dana Tana's was on the nicest Italian places in Los Angeles, and also happened to be my daughter's favorite place to eat anytime we went out.

"Sounds good to me, okay with you Hales?" I flinched at the use of his nickname for me, he hadn't used it in awhile.

"Yeah that's fine."

"Okay Dana Tana's it is. Italian dinner, family style." _Family style_? We hadn't been a family for awhile now…but for my daughter, I was willing to pretend for a night.

_I know where you hide  
Alone in your car  
Know all of the things that make you who you are  
I know that goodbye means nothing at all  
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls_

**I just thought I'd give this story a shot. I'm already writing another one, With Arms Wide Open, but I still want to give this a chance. I have a lot of idea's for this story and can take it a lot of way, so tell me what you guys thought of this first chapter? It's obviously angst Naley, but it will get better! And I hope you like Naley little girl (: Well what do you think? Should I keep going? R&R!?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the great reviews! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!**

Non Believer

_She belongs somewhere else, away from my side  
so run with what you've got, and chase with what you need  
I believe the faithful fell, didn't know their way back  
we're so far away from home, but brother you're not alone  
and I promise to climb back up here to you  
waiting for this message coming through_

_is it mine? is it mine?  
as she pulls inside  
is it mine? is it mine?  
how the lights go white_

"Mr. Scott, Mrs. Scott, over here!" The calls coming from the flock of photographers rang through our ears as we quickly walked towards our car. Even after a good night with my family, and my good mood, I was suddenly impatient and angry. That always seemed to happen when I was met with the crazed paparazzi. If there was anything I hated from all the fame, it was that privacy didn't exist. You couldn't go without getting your picture taken. You couldn't even pick up your child from school without being on the page of a magazine, and you sure as hell couldn't keep any problems at home without being on the front cover…I hated it, and so did Haley.

"Almost there El." I whispered as I felt her head lift up a little off my shoulder. Being surrounded by a pack of photographers was a normal thing for Haley and I, and sadly it had become normal for my daughter too. Can you imagine having pictures of your four year old just playing at the park, or getting picked up from school being put out for the whole world to see? That was probably what pissed me off the most.

"Finally." Haley said when we successfully reached our car and started heading home.

I was surprised she had even said a word to me. We usually only spoke when Ellie was around…I guess to try our best to make it normal for her. How sad was that?

"Hey, um tomorrow I have to meet Johnny at the studio, can you watch Ellie for a bit?"

I almost laughed at how hesitant she seemed to have asked the question. Like I wouldn't even been willing to take care of my kid.

"Yeah, sure." I answered. That we the last of our conversation.

_do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer._

_she belongs somewhere else, where pain isn't hope  
and lives get every chance, not part of every plan  
i believe the faithful fell, didn't know their way back  
so far away from home, but brother we're not alone_

_is it mine? is it mine?  
as she pulls inside  
is it mine? is it mine?  
how the lights go white_

I slowly wiped away my tears as I rolled over onto my side. Just like I had every night for the past few months, I had held in my tears until I went to sleep. It was the only time I would allow myself to let everything out, and not feel weak. I reached over to grab my phone off the nightstand, and flipped it open. Searching through my contents, I landed on the familiar number. '_Should I call?_' When I noticed theltime, I decided against it and put my phone back down. **Lucas Eugene Scott**, my best friend since I was six years old, my husbands brother, my daughters uncle, and the only person I had been able to depend my whole life. He'd never left my side….not once after that night, unlike his brother, and unlike the other people I once considered my friends. I sucked in a deep breath as I once again felt the fresh tears start to fall. Instinctively my hand moved to my stomach, and the memories of that horrible day suddenly filled my mind.

_Flashback;_

_"So how are you feeling Hales?" Brooke asked me for the millionth time as I held the phone in between my shoulder and ear, while making a grilled cheese._

_"Brooke, how many times is it possible for you to ask me that in one phone call? I'm feeling fine!"_

_"Okay, okay. Jeez, I just want to make sure my god son is treating his momma well." Brooke's sincere voice quickly softened my frustration and I instantly felt bad._

_"I know you are. Thanks tigger."_

_"No problem tutor girl! Well I got to get going, duty calls. Tell Ellie and Nathan I say hi okay?"_

_"You got it. Bye Brooke, love you."_

_"Love you too!" She said and hung up._

_As I placed the phone onto the counter, I quickly clutched my stomach as pain shot threw. It had been happening all day, and at first I was nervous about it, but then I remembered about Braxton Hicks. The doctor said it was likely for me to get them, and I was going to dare tell Nathan. He'd be back from L.A. in a second._

_"Momma, are you okay?" Ellie asked as she came into the kitchen. I smiled at the view of her princess pajamas and her stuffed bear, J.J., tucked under her arm. It still amazed how much she looked like Nathan, but acted so much like me. Her smile, nose, mouth, and beautiful blue eyes all matched Nathan. She had even perfected the Scott smirk already, and she was only four. Her hair was dark brown like mine, and her personality matched mine plus her Scott charm of course._

_"Yeah I'm fine El. How was your nap?"_

_"It was good mommy!" She said yawning as she took a seat at the table. I walked up to her, placing her grilled cheese and chocolate milk down. For the most part, Nathan and I had our daughter on a strict diet. Everything she ate was organic and healthy. There was rarely any junk food. I was laughed when I thought how much more strict Nathan was with it. Every once in awhile I'd take Ellie to McDonalds or BurgerKing for a treat, but apparently Nathan never did. I was shocked when Ellie told me. She had her daddy wrapped around her little finger._

_"Is B.J. happy today?" Ellie asked referring to the baby. When we had found out we were having a boy, Nathan of course being ecstatic, wanted to pick the name right away. We had a few good ones but we had both decided on our favorite, James. Ellie loving to give people nick names just like her Aunt Brooke then thought up one for her little brother. Baby James . B.J._

_"He's happy this morning, and even happier that he's sister is finally awake." I said knowing it'd make Ellie happy. The second she found out she was going to be a big sister she was excited. At first I was afraid of what her reaction would be, but turned out I had nothing to worry about._

_"If he's so happy, why can't he just come out already! It's been forever!"_

_"Remember what me and daddy told you? James has to stay in my belly for 9 months to be big and strong when he's born. Only four more months." I said. I once again felt a strong pain shot through my stomach. I placed my hand on my stomach and leaned against the table to keep my balance._

_"Are you sure your okay momma? Should I call daddy?"_

_"No baby I fine…." I started but then saw something I hadn't wanted to see. **Blood**. I was not okay._

_End of Flashback;_

_do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer.  
do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer._

_do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer.  
do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer.  
You're not the only one  
do you take the non-believers?  
cause I'm a non-believer._

"Perfect." I said taking a sip from my full glass and placing it down on the table. I had never been a big drinker, but ever since a few months ago, it seemed to wash away all the pain I had…and there was a lot. I turned on the big screen and tried my best to focus my attention on something else. After about 10 minutes, and nothing working, I decided on doing what I usually did every night. Grabbing a beer from the fridge I headed up the stairs and to the hall. As I finally reached the door that was covered with little four year old drawings, I quietly opened it and walked in. I had never be someone who was good at dealing with pain. Normally I just got angry. I wouldn't cry, I wouldn't talk about it…I would just hold it all on or let it out in basketball. But then there's the pain that you feel…that you just can't control. It over powers you so much…and you just have to let it out. I sat quietly in the corner of her room, and just watched her sleep. Some nights, when Haley didn't even think I came home, I would come into Ellie's room and just watch her sleep. Once I was sure Haley wouldn't come in to check on her, I let it out. I just let my pain and tears finally fall.

**That's the end of Chapter 2! You guys finally saw what happened…painful and sad right? Obviously Haley and Nathan are dealing with it, only without each other! Well tell me what you guys thought! And obviously still a lot of angst still going to go on. Next chapter will be Nathan/ Ellie interaction. Well tell me what you thought!? Did you like it!? R&R!?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks you soooo much for all the great reviews! I am really glad you guys liking it!**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter too!**

You'll Never Be Alone

_The world is changing  
and time is spinning fast  
it's so amazing how you came into my life  
I know it seems all hope is gone  
I know you feel you can't be strong  
and once again the story ends with you and I_

_And anytime you feel like you just can't go on_

_just hold on to my love_

_and you'll never be alone_

"Okay El, I'm leaving now." I said quickly grabbing my purse of the couch and looking at the time. '_Late_.'

"When are you going to be home?" Ellie asked me. I knew she wouldn't be too happy about me having to leave, and spending the day without me. The past few months, accept for when she went to school, we were normally always together. I had always been a pretty protective parent. I was very careful over who I trusted around Ellie…and ever since the accident, I was even more protective. Could you blame me?

"I'll be home at around 7 okay sweetie? Daddy should be up soon, so just play here or watch t.v., until he wakes up." I said kissing her cheek and heading to the door. I had to admit I was hesitant of leaving her with Nathan. It's not that I didn't trust him, I mean of course I did he's her father…but it was just hard to have to leave, or at least that's what I kept telling myself.

"Okay. Love you."

"I love too Ellie. See you later." I said once again and finally headed out the door.

_Hold on  
we can make it through the fire  
and my love  
I'm forever by your side  
and you know  
if you should ever call my name  
I'll be right there  
you'll never be alone_

_Hopeless to describe  
the way I feel for you  
no matter how I try  
words would never do  
I looked into your eyes to find  
as long as love is alive  
there ain't nothing we can't make it through_

"God…." I grumbled as I rolled over and was met with the sun shining through the huge bay window. I slowly lifted myself up in the bed and realized were I was. **The guest room**.

When I finally managed to get myself out of bed, I looked over and noticed the beer bottles that sat beside the bed. '_Shit_.' If Haley saw those, she'd be even more pissed when she came home. I quickly grabbed them off the table and threw them away. When I finally reached the hall, I remembered Haley asking me if I could stay with Ellie today. That had already put in me a good mood. Spending a day with my little girl was no doubt my favorite thing to do.

"They you are." I said finally finding her. I had looked in the play room, and her room, but hadn't found her. So I of course I decided on looking in the only other place she'd be. The indoor basketball court. At four years old, most girls are either playing with barbies, dressing up, or getting into the moms make up. Luckily my daughter was the total opposite. She loved going to the park and getting dirty, playing NBA live, and she especially loved basketball. Another thing she loved- **reading**. That was definitely all Haley.

"Hi dad!" She said when she saw me. I laughed when she hadn't run towards like she normally did. Instead she continued dribbling the basketball.

"You know, your getting pretty good El. Pretty soon you'll be able to shoot on a regular hoop."

"Really!?" She asked excitedly.

"Yeah really, you shouldn't be surprised. You are a Scott after all."

"I know, but I'm still short like mommy…"

"So? You'll grow, trust me. But to prove to you how good you really are, how about a game of one on one?" I asked grabbing the ball of the ground already knowing her answer.

"Game on daddy!"

_Anytime, or only for a while  
don't worry  
make a wish  
I'll be there to see you smile  
oooh_

_Hold on  
we can make it throught the fire  
and my love  
I'm forever by your side  
and you know  
if you should ever call my name  
I'll be right there  
you'll never be alone_

_Through the fire, by your side  
I will be there for you so I'm, don't you worry  
(and you know, I'll be there)_

_you'll never be a... alone  
heya heyeaaaah_

"Haley, if you don't stop pacing, your going to make a hole in the floor."

"What if he's in a bad mood? What if Ellie needs me…I mean…"

"Haley, stop!" Johnny said once again looking up from the computer.

"I don't understand what the problem is Hales. She's without you at school every day and she's fine. She's with her dad, at your own house, relax." He said taking a seat next to me.

"I don't know why I'm like this…but I can't help it. It's like every time I'm not with her…I just automatically think the worst. Like something will go wrong…and I won't be able to do anything about it." I said looking up at him. Johnny Carter was one of my closest friends. I'd never forget the first time we met. We hadn't exactly hit it off so well. I just thought of him as a money hungry label owner, who didn't care about his musicians. I was definitely wrong. Although he was quite cocky, and did love money, he really did care about the musicians he worked with, and had a really good ear for music. Over the past few years of working together, he had just kind of became a really great friend.

"Yeah I know Hales…I jut hate to see you worrying like this. Did you talk about this with Dr. Harper?"

"Yeah right. Why should I? How can she help me when she had no idea how I'm feeling?" At the mention of that damn therapists name, I always got angry. She had been recommended to me after the miscarriage…At first, I truly believed it could help me, but I was wrong. She didn't help me at all. I couldn't believe she'd actually tried to understand what I was feeling. She never could…no one could.

"Not this again. Haley, she's one of the best damn therapists in the country! God knows how many degrees she has, and-"

"You don't understand yet do you?! I don't give a damn how many degrees this woman has! Or where the hell she got them! Because no matter how hard she tries and pretends like she knows how the hell I'm feeling but she can't! She just can't!" I finished and tried my best to catch my breath. I felt the hot tears threatening to fall, and quickly turned my face away.

I hated when I got like this in front of anyone, even if it was in front of a close friend.

"I know Hales…I'm sorry." Johnny said wrapping his arm around me. I always felt bad when I got like this with him. He had just been trying to help…but that's what everyone tried to do when I was around them…and they still hadn't realized it could never work.

"I just want you to be happy again Haley. I just want you to see you smile again."

"So do I Johnny…so do I."

_Hold on  
we can make it through the fire  
and my love  
I'm forever by your side  
and you know  
if you should ever call my name  
I'll be right there  
oh baby, hold on_

_Hold on  
(we can make it through the fire)  
we can make it baby  
and my love  
said I'm forever by your side, yeah  
(and you know)  
if you should ever call my name  
said I'll be, I'll be right there  
oh, oh, ooooh_

"Spongebob!" Ellie yelled when her favorite show finally came on. After 3 games of one on one, 10 games of NBA live, and lunch, we had finally decided on just relaxing and watching t.v. I don't think there is a kid in the world these days that doesn't like Spongebob. Ever since Ellie got into, that's all she ever watched! I had to admit it wasn't that bad of a show...

"I love this episode!" She said once again, laughing as it went on. I smiled once again for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Lately I hadn't exactly been the greatest father to my daughter. There were nights I wouldn't come home, have a little too much drink, or just not be in a good mood. I wasn't proud of it, but I just hoped my daughter knew how much I loved her, because I did. You know how everyone says a child is the best present? I used to laugh at that whenever my mom told me that when I was a younger. I didn't care, because the last thing I had ever wanted was a kid…but then Ellie was born. You could say she was unexpected, but she was definitely the best surprise I could have ever asked for. The second I held her in my arms, I felt a love I never thought was possible, and I vowed to myself to always be the best father I could be to my little girl, and to protect her from any pain and up until now, I had kept that promise. I just wish I could tell her those nights I didn't come that it wasn't because of her…it was just because sometimes it was just to hard for me to face her, and Haley. I was letting them down, but for some reason I wouldn't allow myself to tell them that, especially not to Haley. Every time I looked at her it was just a constant reminder of how much I had hurt her…how much the miscarriage had affected her. I wanted nothing more but to be there for her, I really did, but I just couldn't. How could I help her when I didn't even now how to deal with the pain myself? I was supposed to their hero…but I just couldn't be.

_Hold on  
yeah yeah  
(we can make it through the fire)  
yeah yeah  
oh no  
(my love)  
I know, and you know (I'm forever by your side)  
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
(and you know)  
(if you should ever call my name)  
(I'll be right there)_

**So there's Ch 3! I hope you guys liked it! I've been surprising myself with how fast I'm updating! I think that's a sign that I have a lot in store for this story, and I hope you guys will enjoy all the twists. The father/ daughter relationship of Nathan and Ellie is a huge part of this story, which is why I wrote what I did in the end. I know you guys are probably looking for some Naley, so next chapter you will see a lot more! Only you'll see it when Nathan's at his darker moments, but I still hope you guys will like it! Some one asked me if this story is going to end sadly, and I promise it won't! They're will be a lot of angst for sure, but I promise the end will be happy! Soon I will be bringing in Lucas into the story, and probably Brooke and Peyton and maybe another family member, and they will all be explained! Well hope you guys liked this chapter, tell me what you thought!? R&R!?**


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